New Contributor....

Since Gandalf and Christian have appeared to let this blog go by the wayside, and since I was invited to contribute to The Book of Secrets....... I decided to, y'know, contribute. FYI, I'm not as big an expert on aliens or Dr. Who as Gandalf is, but I AM very good at complaining about the government and all of the conspiracy theories they're responsible for. Hey, it's a hobby of mine. In fact, I have several spies - who shall remain nameless, in order to keep from jeopardizing their missions - located in Washington D.C. and other high political-traffic areas. But I'll touch on them later. Today, I am going to talk about squirrels.

Unless you live in Antarctica or in the middle of the ocean, you are undoubtedly familiar with squirrels. Little walnut-misplacing animals that are mostly tail, and that look completely incapable of committing any crimes worse than stealing seeds from the birdfeeder. Right?

*buzzer* Wrong. Fail. My friend Joseph was the one who alerted me to the danger of the squirrels, and now I'm warning you. If you are reading this, I plead with you to pass this information on to anyone you know who lives in a squirrel-infested area. Squirrels are EVIL. They are vicious, they are conniving, they are sly and cunning and brutally strategic when it comes to war. DO NOT LAUGH. Squirrels are responsible for the deaths of many, many people around the world, and YOU COULD BE NEXT.